Joke #2168

What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
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has 48.59 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: military

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Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador.
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has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: military
One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them "There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!" Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?" Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"
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has 85.63 % from 431 votes. More jokes about: husband, military
General Baldwin had barely arrived in the forward area when a sniper's bullet removed a button from his shirt. He threw himself to the ground in terror. The men stood around with the greatest unconcern. The general yelled at a passing sergeant. "Hey, isn't somebody going to kill that damned sniper?" The sergeant looked down at the general and replied: "I guess not, general. We're scared that if we kill him the enemy will replace him with somebody who really knows how to shoot."
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has 85.39 % from 286 votes. More jokes about: military
Which branch of the military do babies join? The infantry!
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has 54.83 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: baby, military
How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.
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has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: Where does a general keep his armies? A: Up his sleevies.
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has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: military
‘What were you in civilian life, soldier?’ ‘Happy, sir.’
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has 79.28 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: military
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line!”
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has 85.74 % from 411 votes. More jokes about: death, military
At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. "What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed. "What painter?" "The one that painted this picture 'Soldiers at Work'." "Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!" "That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"
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has 43.46 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: military, work