Joke #2609

"Where does the Colonel keep his armies?" "Up his sleevies!"

In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.

A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.

Tom and Timothy were in the same regiment in the army. They were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together. After retirement, they went to different states and settled. However, they kept correspondence through letters and e-mails. To keep the memory of their boozing bouts alive, Tom always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately! When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained: "This glass is Timothy's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each - one on behalf of Timothy, the other for myself." Suddenly one evening Tom was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what had happened. He replied, "You see, I have given up drinking but Timothy has written that he has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend."

Yo mama is so fat, the army used her pants for a parachute.

How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.

Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.

Why'd the Mexican army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? There was only two vans.

French Army rifles for sale – never fired and only dropped once!

Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click." "Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle." "What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."