How do you keep a blonde in suspense? "Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say ‘Hello'."
The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But I always get it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the container it comes in?" "Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant." The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."
A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead. She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head. The husband begs her not to shoot herself. The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up! You’re next!’
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
A blonde was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.” “That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I can only sell the car.” “Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will ‘fix it’. Then you shouldn’t have a problem anymore trying to sell your car.” The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?” “No,” replied the blonde, “Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”
How do you kill a blonde with one arm? You wave to her.
What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? There have been sightings of Bigfoot.
A blonde goes to the hospital to give blood and is asked what type she is. She tells them she’s an outgoing cat-lover.
During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password: GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."