Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
How do you keep a blonde in suspense? "Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say ‘Hello'."
An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room?", the captain asked. "Why not?" She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies? It hurts to boil their nipples!
Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade four.
One day a Blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach. The doctor gasped and asked what happened. the Blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach. The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that. the blond said "I was trying to burn calories."
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to of all people a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? A: She liked kids...
Q: What is long and hard to a blonde? A: Fourth grade.
Q: What happened when a blonde missed the Q44 bus? A: She took the Q22 twice.