A blond gave birth to two twins and continously crying.
A nurse asks her what's the problem.
She replies,"I don't know with whom I have the second baby..."
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Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning?
Tell her a joke on Friday night.
We went to see a movie the other night.
I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.
Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.
“Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?”
“No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”
What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant?
I hope it's not mine.
It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke.
She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her.
Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"
And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.
"Help us, help us!" yells the other.
"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.
"Good idea," said the other.
"Together, together!"
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One hundred: one to hold the lightbulb, the other 99 to rotate the house.