What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
"You keep hearing about them, but never see any."
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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade?
A: Because she's 21.
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live.
She chose last week and this week.
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch ’n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
Q: Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?
A: She forgot to close her eyes.
Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect.
The police chief shows them the first mug shot.
"That's not him," the first blonde states.
"This man only has one eye."
The chief is stunned.
"He only has one eye because it's a profile shot."
He repeats the procedure for the second blonde.
"That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers.
He smacks his head.
"It's a profile shot."
He repeats the procedure for the third blonde.
After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses."
"How do you know that?"
"Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
A blonde goes to the hospital to give blood and is asked what type she is.
She tells them she’s an outgoing cat-lover.
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
A blonde woman is driving down the road.
She notices that she’s low on gas, so she stops at a gas station.
While she’s pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car.
So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself.
She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock.
Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring.
Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying, “A little more to the left…a little more to the right!…”