Joke #4850

Q: How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge? A: There is lipstick on the cucumber.
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
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A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Vote: has 66.76 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty
A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them. The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."
Vote: has 71.34 % from 95 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?  A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people." Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?" Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, friendship, insulting, relationship, stupid
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
Vote: has 85.28 % from 345 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunting peckers.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Hey" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are already on the other side."
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
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A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?" "In three months."
Vote: has 83.19 % from 159 votes. Send joke:
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A blind man walks into a bar. The blind man sits down, thinking he'd break the ice with the bartender by asking "Wanna hear a blond joke?" In a hushed voice, a man beside him says "Before you tell that joke, you should know our bartender IS blonde, or bouncer is blond, I'm a 6'4" black belt, the man sitting on the other side of me is 6'2, 250lbs, and a rugby player. The guy sitting next to you is pushing 300, 6'6, and he's a wrestler. We're ALL blond. So you think about it mister, do you really wanna tell that joke?" The blind man sat for a second, thinking over the odds and then replied "No, not if I have to explain it five times."
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, bartender, blonde