Q: How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge?
A: There is lipstick on the cucumber.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
"Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt.
The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player.
The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler.
Each one of US is blonde.
Think about it, Mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five f*cking times."
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go on holiday to a tropical island.
The brunette takes a beach umbrella, the redhead takes a crate of suntan oil, and the blonde takes a car door.
‘What are you doing with a car door?’ asks the redhead.
The blonde replies, ‘If it gets too hot, we can roll the window down.’
Why did the blonde snort sweet n' low?
She thought it was diet coke.
Two blondes were shopping at the mall.
When they were done, they went out to their car, an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car.
So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.
Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock.
The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded, "Hurry, hurry! It's going to rain and we left the top down!"
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
A blonde working in the coffin industry was thinking of various ways to improve her business.
She thought perhaps a good way to do it would be to emulate the success of the fashion store across the street which had done very well with it's new "Buy 1, Get 1 Free" deal.
Soon, a man walks in.
"I would like a coffin for my father. But these coffins are very expensive!"
"Well, sir, you'll be happy to know we have a 'Buy 1, Get 1 Free' deal!"
The customer left.
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.
A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.
“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.
“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.”
And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically.
“What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”
What job did the blonde have at the M&M factory?
Proofreading.
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
Vote: