Joke #2198

Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."

Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!

It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals. At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him. "Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "It's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat! What's up with that I wonder!" The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife. We went to the games together." "Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously. "She passed away," said the gentleman. "Oh, I'm sorry, you could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man. Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No, they're all at the funeral."

Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.

Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.

If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"

What did the black epileptic have written on his t-shirt? "Help I'm not break dancing"

When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.