Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england? A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man. ‘Watch them!’ says his wife. ‘You already know how to play volleyball.’
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "Whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards."
A man had an idea that could make him rich. After it was perfected he brought it to an inventors' help group. When asked what his great invention was, he pulled out an apple. The group looked at it and started laughing. The inventor said, "You don't understand! Taste it." A volunteer tried it and said, "Mmmmmmm, tastes like peaches." The inventor said, "Flip it over." He flipped it over and took another chunk of the apple. "Mmmmmmmm, tastes like grapes." The inventor offered a new apple and the volunteer said, "What does it taste like?" "Pussy," said the inventor. The guy bit into it, and spit it out with an awful look on his face and shouted, "That tasted like ass!" The inventor winked and said, "Flip it over."
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Don’t marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. Cricket
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis? A:Telling your parents that your gay!