What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots.
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Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
My math teacher called me average...
How mean!
Yo momma is so stupid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?"
Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!"
The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests.
"Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'"
Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
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Q: You know that awesome feeling, when you finally understand math?
A: Me neither.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
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What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.