What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots.
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Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70?
Because 69 is such a mouthful.
A statistician's wife had twins.
He was delighted.
He rang the minister who was also delighted.
"Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister.
"No," replied the statistician.
"Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
Equation
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Why are rabbits like calculators?
They both multiply a lot.
Two statisticians go bird hunting.
The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet.
The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet.
They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
E=mc squared.
E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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