What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits?
Rabbits habits.
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I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat.
When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat.
Sorry...
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?"
Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
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A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street.
When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him.
When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog.
A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes.
He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?"
The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no I-Deer.
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover?
A: His ass!
Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm.
He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing."
The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck".
The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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