What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Rabbits habits.
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear. The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans. I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear." "If you know that, why are you changing shoes?" "Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
Why did the frog cross the street? Because the chicken crossed the road.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.