Joke #10213

What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Rabbits habits.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
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You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab. They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.
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has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, death, life
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?" Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
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has 73.81 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, little Johnny, teacher
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
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has 64.09 % from 614 votes. More jokes about: animal, marriage, wife
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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has 55.72 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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has 29.27 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food, mother in law
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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has 47.19 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food