What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits?
Rabbits habits.
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What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing?
A: He only had two worms.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."
She shrugs and walks away.
Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Two neighbors are talking to each other.
First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me?
Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well.
First neighbor: Really, well then, how?
Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.