What hair style is a calf's favorite?
The cowlick.
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Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse?
A: An Arab mechanic.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady.
He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself.
He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.
''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''
''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher.
Then, the bear climbed down and went away.
So the guy starts to climb down the tree.
Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him.
The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first.
But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him.
Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again.
Suddenly, the two bears return.
But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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Where do steers go to dance?
To the Meat Ball.
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.