What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.
How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat. Sorry...
What's green with bumps? A frog with the measles!
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.