What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
A farmer and a son live on a farm. The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid. He is so excited because he's just milked a cow. Then he takes a big drink from the glass. His father just stares at him. "Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand? A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.