Joke #2299

What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!
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I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
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The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
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A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are your celebrating?" "I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "What a coincidence, the woman said. For my husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked. "I switched cocks," he replied. "What a coincidence," she said.
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Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden. Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says: Mama, is that you?
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Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
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Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
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Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
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