How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
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Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because bad news travels fast!
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one.
The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?"
The assistant says, "$2000."
The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive.
The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast."
"What about the green one?" the man asks.
The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes."
"What about the red one?" the man asks.
The assistant says, "That one's $10,000."
The man says, "What does HE do?"
The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini?
A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk?
A: The utter side.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because the spots where all over.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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