How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards. ‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man. ‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players. ‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."