Joke #2313

How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
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has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
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has 48.69 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
"May I buy half a rabbit?" "No, we don't split hares."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, couple, disgusting, old people
A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog. The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, “Hippocrates, come!” Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts. The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, “Sliderule, come!” Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie. The attorney watched the other two dogs, and called “Bullshit, come!” Bullshit entered and was told to do his stuff. Bullshit immediately sodomised the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, dog
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila? Tyrannosaurus Mex.
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has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
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has 77.76 % from 236 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, sex
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits? Wheelburrows.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris