Joke #2944

So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!

What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.

A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today" The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes." "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."

Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!

One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"

What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line? A drip dry skunk.

A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."

A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"

Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows." Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows." Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows." Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp. First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend." Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument." They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting. First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish, let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it." Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."

Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice? A: He didn't give a hoot!