Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
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A blond smokes in her yard. The garbage man asks her:
Any garbage today?
Yes, tree sacks please...
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
One that never misses a period.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming "lifesaver! lifesaver!"
The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks "cherry or grape?"
Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.
Postcard from a blonde:
Having a wonderful time.
Where am I?
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car.
The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.
She held it up to her face and said, "Aha!
This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said,
"You're free to go.
And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde.
They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest.
When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage.
About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T
he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft.
When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw.
The deputy told him just three gunnysacks.
The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.”
So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one.
Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.”
The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one.
Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said
“Potatoes.”
There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing.
Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win...they kept pulling out fish after fish.
Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently.
A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.
"A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"