Joke #3610

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A. Because she blows the horn!
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde. “Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden. “But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.” The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. “Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.” And with that, he left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. “What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, cop, fish
A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis." The blond yelled at the doctor... "A cute appendicitis! I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
How do you determine a blonde’s IQ? With a tyre gauge.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class? A: your 25 year old mom.
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, school
There are three blonds that went to the store. After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car. The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door. The second blond tried using a hanger. The third blond tried using pen. While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"
Vote: has 75.77 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead wake up on an island with a gun. Only three bullets were in the barrel. "I'm going hunting," said the redhead, and she ran into the vegetation. She came back with a rabbit. "How did you get that?" the other two asked. "I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back. The brunette, thinking that she could do better, went out and came back with a deer. "How did you get that?" the other two asked. "I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back. "I could do better than either of you" said the blonde and ran into the forest and came back with bruises and scrapes. "What happened?" they asked. "I followed the tracks and got hit by a train."
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots? Flattered.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Why did the blonde roast a chicken for three and a half days? The instructions said ‘cook it for half an hour per pound’, and she weighed 125.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde