Why did the frog cross the street? Because the chicken crossed the road.
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.