Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
Q: Why do cops arrest black people?
A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
Vote:
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
When it's on the train.
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner."
Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."