Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.
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An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.
He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off.
The bartender agrees.
The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis.
The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also".
There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Vote:
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Class: "Brotherly love."
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
Vote:
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion?
It had a lot of hare pins.
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins.
He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.”
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses.
He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?”
The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop.
They hide in potato sacks.
The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!