Joke #5959

A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
Vote:
has 69.48 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, gay
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy.
Vote:
has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer, work
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee? A: In a nest-cafe!
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong.
Vote:
has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
Vote:
has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema.” The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it’s head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, “Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!” Agnes whispers back, “Oh, don’t worry about it… you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” Madge says, “I KNOW…but this one’s eating my POPCORN!”
Vote:
has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a cow that fell in a hole? A hole-y Cow.
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery.
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, car