Joke #5959

A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Vote: has 88.31 % from 4828 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, math, teacher, wedding
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do fish live in to the salt water? A: For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!
Vote: has 17.55 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car
What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, travel
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Vote: has 66.88 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever. The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late. Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a 17-pound trout and had to take it home. If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mom would've been angry. That's why I'm so late". The teacher promptly takes him to the principal's office and explains the story to the principal. The principal tells Johnny about his own trip to school that day. He says, "I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me. I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me. He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs. He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear. The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me. What do you think of that, Johnny?" Johnny replies, "Oh yeah, that's my dog Sparky. That's his third bear this week."
Vote: has 84.78 % from 558 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, little Johnny, school