Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ?
A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
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Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
An old lady went to visit her dentist.
When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs.
The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist."
"I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
My wife and I really love bondage.
She loves it because she's a kinky bitch.
I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
The neighbor from below told me that If I flood him once again, he will rape me.
So I turn on the water. I sit and wait.
Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men?
You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
A very old man went to a church, making this confession:
- Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years.
All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman.
- When was the last time you made a confession?
- I never have, I am Jewish.
- Then why are you telling it to me?
- I am telling it everybody ...