Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water?
A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
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Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
Sex is like air – it’s not important until you’re not getting any.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.”
“Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?”
“Back to back.”
“But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.”
“Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A: Mega-saur-ass
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS?
A: A sharp pain in the ass.
A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.
The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?"
"Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied.
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"That's okay," said the young man.
"We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."
One dinosaur said, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Another dinosaur said "A non-renewable recourse!"
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