Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water?
A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
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A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."
The guy left.
A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."
The guy left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."
The guy left.
The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back."
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?"
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur
A lickalotopis
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago.
The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.
They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”
The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
She’s like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.
Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87.
And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A: A dino-snore!
Vote:
One dinosaur said, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Another dinosaur said "A non-renewable recourse!"
Vote: