Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy? A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
A couple have just had sex. The woman says, ‘If I got pregnant, what would we call the baby?’ The man takes off his condom, ties a knot in it, and flushes it down the toilet. ‘Well,’ he says. ‘If he can get out of that, we’ll call him Houdini.’
‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty. His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex. After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition. ‘Stuff that!’ says the woman. ‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome. Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome. Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!