Joke #2388

Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.

Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’

Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."

I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.

A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, "I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab." He popped into a phone booth near  the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.  He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, "What the heck, I'll give her a call." "Hello," the woman says. She sounded sexy.  "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks... We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?" She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?" And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed." "Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?" And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make." "And what is the name of this position?" "You know, imagine the missionary position."

If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet.

Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.