Joke #2388

Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.

As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."

A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job. The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar. The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you? The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber." Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."

A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!” “I’m not sure I understand you,” he answered, glancing at his watch, ”It’s only 2014 now.”

Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.

Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...

Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."

I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom. I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.

Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.