Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
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Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?
Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
Q: What did the penis say to the condom?
A: Cover me im going in!
Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ?
A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Do you work at a cattery?
Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
Q: How big are the pastro's beds?
A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.