Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?" Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation" The teacher stared at him and fainted.
Q: What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second? A: First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.
A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!” “I’m not sure I understand you,” he answered, glancing at his watch, ”It’s only 2014 now.”
A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, "I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab." He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, "What the heck, I'll give her a call." "Hello," the woman says. She sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks... We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?" She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.
Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.