Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called? A: Her clit
Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a toilet? A: The toilet smells good when it gets cleaned.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?" But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"
Husband and wife decide to make a password for s*x, they decide on 'washing machine'. Later in bed that night husband says, "Washing machine." Wife replies, "Not tonight darling I have a sore head." Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, "Washing machine." Husband replies, "To late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand."
A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."
"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?" "No, why?" "Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can. Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches? A: Same reason.
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops. He runs towards his school and into his classroom. He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing". The teacher says "Yes". Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there. He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there. So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt". Little Johnny says "O.K." The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?". The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't". When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now". Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.