Joke #2389

Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called? A: Her clit
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has 30.25 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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has 17.12 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris, dirty, nurse
One day a fellow came into the bar with a cat, not just any cat, but a mean-looking ginger tom. You could see the scars from across the room. But that wasn't the weirdest thing; a six-foot ostrich - eyes like golf balls, followed them in - a real live ostrich! I asked the man what he wanted. "I'll have a pint of bitter," he said. "A pint of lager for the ostrich and a gin and tonic for the cat." The cat hissed at him. "Make that a double gin and tonic. Thanks." Well, I served the drinks, he paid, and they all knocked 'em back. Wasn't long before the ostrich came back to the bar, and made it clear that it wanted the same again. Well, I poured them. I could feel the cat's eyes burning through me as if he was checking that he got his double again. I took the drinks over to them, and the man paid, taking the cash from a purse tied around the ostrich's neck. This went on for a couple of hours. The man and the ostrich buying alternate rounds, while the cat just sat on the window shelf with his drink, looking fit to kill. The whole place got quiet. People sat and stared, and who could blame them? Eventually, I plucked up the courage to ask the fellow just what was going on. "Can't a man have a quiet drink anymore?" he rasped. So I said, "No harm meant, but you've got to admit that you're a unique set of drinkers. He smiled, but there was no light in that smile. "Okay, you want to know? I'll tell you." "I was across town the other week, working on the new road. Amid the dirt and the rubble, I turned up this old brass lamp. I rubbed it, thinking there might be a date or inscription or something. Anyway, out comes this cloud of smoke and a Genie appeared. You know - turban, scimitar, and the whole works. And he tells me I've got just one wish." "And before you ask, yes, I did wish for a long-legged bird with a tight pussy. But this wasn't what I had in mind."
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: bar, cat, communication, dirty, genie
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
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has 46.11 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, school, sex, time
Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.
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has 71.90 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes.
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has 80.38 % from 336 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? A: Her lipstick.
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 82.47 % from 263 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money
I'd like to think inside your box.
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has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty
If one drop of semen contains more life than a drop of blood, why don't vampires suck cock? Oh wait... Twilight
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has 82.40 % from 793 votes. More jokes about: dirty, life
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
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has 76.31 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex