Joke #2449

How is an earnest lawyer called? An oxymoron.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A desperate man enters a bar and says: All the lawyers are stupid!!! From a table a solid man rises up and goes to the desperate man: Take that back! Why? Are you a lawyer? No, I’m stupid...
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: bar, lawyer
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case. "Look," said one, "let's be honest with each other." "Okay, you first," replied the other. That was the end of the discussion.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
A doctor and a lawyer are involved in a car crash. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor is a little shaken up, offers him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepts, has a drink and hands back the flask. The lawyer puts it in his pocket. ‘Aren’t you having one yourself?’ asks the doctor. ‘Sure,’ says the lawyer. ‘But I’ll wait till after the police leave.’
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.” “Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
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has 78.63 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, political
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
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has 84.18 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean