Joke #2464

The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.

What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane? A dandy lion.

Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.

What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.

Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.

Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.

When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.

Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" the woman said embarrassingly. "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the lady responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

What color socks do bears wear? (They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!)

Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.