The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
What happens when sharks take their clothes off? They go sharkers.
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."