The little snail begs for his mother:
Mother, please let me pass the rail road!
Thunder dear, not now.
In five hours the train passes.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?
What's the favourite flavour of sharks?
Shark-o-late.
Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store.
The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious!
And she storms past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, she was incredibly ticked now.
The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence.
After a while he asks surprised:
Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs?
Because I used only one leg for the stock.
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters.
She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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