Joke #2464

The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said "1 dollar for dirty joke." Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar. Homeless man: "Alright sir whats your name?" Me: "John" Homeless man: "So Johny, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have." Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?" Me: "I don't know? A lot?" Homeless man: "Well Johny, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy."
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has 81.41 % from 361 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, money
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 75.85 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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has 78.45 % from 596 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit. She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?" A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?" The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
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has 19.08 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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has 79.94 % from 561 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the horses kept saying orange juice? Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
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has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
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has 48.59 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, money
A deer hunter just messed up another hunt. This happened to him more times than he could count. He would spot a buck, aim, fire and miss. He would sneak up close just to get busted and watch the deer run away. He would sneeze just as the buck came into range. He would fall asleep on the stand, waking in time to watch a giant buck scamper away. Frustrated, he complained to his hunting buddies. "Everything that happens to guys that don't know how to hunt keeps happening to me!" he said.
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, work