The little snail begs for his mother:
Mother, please let me pass the rail road!
Thunder dear, not now.
In five hours the train passes.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
How much do I owe Yo' Mama?
My dog came home happy last night.
What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
They go sharkers.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream.