How can you know a lawyer is lying?
When he moves his lips.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
A young lawyer says to ones of his colleagues:
-A lawyer is the freest creature in the world.
He’s not dependent of nothing except of his clients, his colleagues, judge and of the High Court...!
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.
What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter.
A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by.
One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her!
The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
A lawyer died and was standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "you can't come in here... you have to go to the other place".
But the lawyer was really good and pleaded his case to the point where St. Peter said, "OK... here's what I'll do. You will spend the same amount of time in hell as you did on earth, and then you can spend the rest of eternity up here."
The lawyer figured this wasn't too bad of a deal, so he said "OK".
St. Peter said, "Great... I'll see you in 350 years.".
The lawyer said, "But, how is that possible... I'm only 65 years old!".
St Peter said, "We go by billing hours".