Joke #2630

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
Vote: has 71.15 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, lawyer, lesbian
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, love, Valentines day
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
Vote: has 66.21 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, desert island, Hitler, lawyer
What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before a crime, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after a crime, we call him a defence lawyer.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness: The lawyer: "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness: "Yes, sir." The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?" The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches." The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?" The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some stupid lawyer would ask me that question."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, lawyer
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"
Vote: has 70.90 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, math
Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers? A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room...
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer