Joke #3940

Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange"!
Vote:
has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
Vote:
has 76.46 % from 472 votes. More jokes about: dad, doctor, lawyer, little Johnny, teacher
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: beauty, drug, lawyer, wife
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
Vote:
has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, lawyer
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven. When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in." He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven. Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven. Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."
Vote:
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
Vote:
has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
What’s the difference between a shame and a pity? If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff and there are no survivors – that’s a pity. If there were any empty seats – that’s a shame.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer