Joke #3940

Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.”
Vote:
has 79.94 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
Vote:
has 78.50 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: baby, family, holiday, lawyer, marriage
A lawyer has just settled down in his new office. So now, he is thinking what he can do to have clients. After a long time thinking, a man comes into the office. Right away, the lawyer decides to make his new plan take action. So he picks up the phone and says: "Unfortunately, Ms. Onassis, I cannot undertake your case right now. I am working full time, call me in a month to see if I can help you." He puts the phone down and says to the waiting man: "How can I help you sir?" "Nothing really, I am from telephone communications, I just came to connect your phone."
Vote:
has 73.10 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, office, phone, work
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The lawyer answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
Vote:
has 82.28 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, prison, work
What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote:
has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A plumber went to the attorneys house to unstop the sink. When he finished he said to the attorney "that will be $400.00." The attorney became irate "What do you mean $400.00, you were only here 20 minutes, that's ridiculous!!" The plumber replied, "I thought the same thing when I was an attorney".
Vote:
has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, time
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
Vote:
has 70.32 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
If a lawyer and a tax official were both drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do; go to lunch or read the paper?
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats? A total waste of space!
Vote:
has 58.93 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: lawyer