A blond smokes in her yard. The garbage man asks her:
Any garbage today?
Yes, tree sacks please...
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Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink
A: A cocktail.
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."
So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
A German woman is walking down the street.
Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her.
She screams, "Nein!, Nein"
So two guys walk away.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10.
See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G.
See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”
The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”
Two blondes wait at a bus stop.
A bus pulls up and opens the door.
One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry."
The other blonde leans inside and asks, "How about ME?"
There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane.
The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.
The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds.
He told her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.
The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play his game.
The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled.
He spent several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer.
Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00.
The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word.
The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?"
The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and handed him a $5 bill.