How do you know which one is your boss from a crowd of 500 people?
You say: “My boss is a stupidest asshole!”
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Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL?
A: Sir, we were able to save her!
Vote:
Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
The man pulled over to the side of the road when he saw the police lights in his rear view mirror.
“How long have you been riding around without a tail light?” asked the officer.
“Oh, no!” screamed the man, jumping out of the car.
“Calm down, it isn’t that serious.” said the officer.
“Wait’ll my family finds out.”
“Where’s your family?”
“They’re in the trailer that was hitched to the car!”
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live.
She chose last week and this week.
What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight.
A black eye, and a swollen lip.
Life is like a box of chocolate.
It doesn't last long for fat people.
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
A tourist was watching an Indigenous man sending smoke signals.
Everything around him was primitive, except of a latest model fire extinguisher.
"What's the fire extinguisher for?" the tourist wondered.
"It's for erasing the misspellings!"
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit.
They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature.
The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know."
So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle.
She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car.
Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved.
Then dissapered over it.
The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?"
His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."