Joke #4887

Life is like a box of chocolate. It doesn't last long for fat people.
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: life

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A shopkeeper was dismayed when a store opened next door with a huge sign that said, BEST DEALS!” To make things worse, another store opened on the other side with a huge sign reading “LOWEST PRICES!” He nearly panicked until he had the idea to put up his own sign, bigger that the other two, that read, “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
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has 85.62 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's Rights.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, women
Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
Boss: "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?" Me: "That it's only Wednesday."
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has 81.83 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: life, work
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
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has 66.62 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a choir: You were supposed to bring a mixed choir, but I can see only men here. But it is a mixed choir – half of them know how to sing, and the other half- do not.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
Police: Where do u live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where does ur parents live? Me: With me. Police: Where do u all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is ur house? Me: Next to my neighbors house. Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: If i tell you u wont believe me. Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house...
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has 82.98 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: cop, family, life
Saying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is called parenting.
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has 84.07 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: communication, family, kids, life
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life