Do I have any chance to win?
Asks the boxer.
Off course!
Continue hitting the air and the adversary will shortly get a lung inflammation.
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What time does Andy Murray go to his bed?
Ten-ish.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.
The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here."
The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here."
The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer."
The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?"
He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing.
But I mean, 41 years, still alive.
I kinda got it.
Mama Bear and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand.
The judge says, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies.
"He beats me."
The judge then asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?"
"No," Baby Bear replies.
"She beats me too."
So the judge says, "So who do you want to live with?"
Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody."
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine.
Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said.
"There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said.
"Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over", he said.
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
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