Joke #2591

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report. "Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!" "OK, that's it, guys," Roger said. "This is positively the last deal."

Yo mama so fat when she went sky diving in a blue jump suit, all the kids below said, "Ahhhh! The sky is falling!"

A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind. The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was. The snake agreed and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!" The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

The coach says to the boxer encouragement words: The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...

Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis!" I replied, "That's 15 love!"

Did you hear that the boxer Colloso Mamello, was disqualified? Yes, but why? Because he was superstitious. He had a horseshow, hidden in his glove...

What's a mexicans' favorite sport? Cross country.

"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."