Joke #2527

A blond whines at her mother: Mother, I’m impregnate! What? Where the hell was you’re head? What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
Vote:
has 20.26 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer? A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
"Have you heard my knock-knock joke?" asked the blonde. "No," said the brunette. "Okay," said the blonde, "you start."
Vote:
has 36.52 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: blonde, knock-knock, stupid
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Vote:
has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sex, time
How do blondes pierce their ears? They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Vote:
has 18.40 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
Vote:
has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, death
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated." What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
Vote:
has 76.39 % from 203 votes. More jokes about: blonde, women
Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake? A: Must be an earthquake.
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
Vote:
has 65.55 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
An Italian guy is out picking up chicks in Roma. While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract one rather attractive looking blonde. So they’re back at his place, and sure enough, they go at it. After a long while… He climaxes loudly. Then he rolls over, lights up a cigarette and asks her, “So…. you finish?” After a slight pause. She replies, “No.” Surprised, but pleasantly, he puts out his cigarette, rolls back on top of her, and has his way with her again, this time lasting even longer than the first… and this time completing the deed with even louder shouts. Again he rolls over, lights a cigarette, and asks, “So…. you finish?” And again, after a short pause, she simply says “No.” Stunned, but still acting reflexively on his macho pride, he once again puts out the cigarette, and mounts his companion du jour. This time, with all the strength he could muster up, he barely manages to end the task, but he does, after quite some time and energy is spent. Barely able to roll over, he reaches for his cigarette … lights it again, and then asks tiredly, “So… you finish?” “No. I’m Swedish.”
Vote:
has 84.95 % from 586 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, dirty