Joke #2544

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a spermatozoid? Only one from 30.000 gets a man.
Vote:
has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Vote:
has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, money
The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with pictures of favorite lawyers on them. The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A: What's the difference between a lawyer and an undertaker? B: A Lawyer doesn't mind getting his hands dirty while burying his victims.
Vote:
has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How is an earnest lawyer called? An oxymoron.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food." the poor man replied. "Oh, come along with me then." "But sir, I have a wife with two children!" "Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man. "But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered. "Bring them as well!" They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall!"
Vote:
has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer. “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put `here lies an honest lawyer’.” “But that won’t let people know who it is!” protested the lawyer. “Sure it will,” retorted the stonecutter. “People will read it and exclaim, “That’s impossible!”
Vote:
has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, lawyer