Joke #2564

One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.

A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple. The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.

The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.

I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.

Q: What's blue and doesn't fit? A: A dead epileptic.

What do u call a black priest? Holy shit.

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.

They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!