One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ? A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
Q: How does every black joke start? A: With the white guy looking over his shoulder.
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: With a knife.
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.