Joke #3256

Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday? A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.

What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.

I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.

Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."

How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.

how do you keep a black person out of your backyard? Hang one in the front.

Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!

Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."

I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.