Joke #3256

Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday? A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
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An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first? The apple because the rope catches the black person.
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First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?" Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
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"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality." "Who told you that?" "Gynecologist."
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Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."
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A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
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What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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What do you call of 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
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Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
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