Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday? A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue? A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid? A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.