Two friends: Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? Of course! How many people are coming? Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
6 year old kid looking at Mom's ID card. Sex: F He laughs. Mom: "Whats so funny?" Kid: "I can't believe you're so bad in sex that you failed in it." Husband died laughing.
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex.
Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."