Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
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Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
There are only two kinds of computer.
The latest model, and the obsolete.
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...