Joke #2597

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, all right!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?" The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer
A Lawyer and the Pope died at the same time, both went to heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms. The Pope's room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light. They came to the Lawyer's room. It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar. The Lawyer said, "There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope's room!" St Peter said, "There's no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of Pope's, but you're our very first Lawyer!"
Vote: has 85.88 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, death, heaven, lawyer
Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour." Testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge. "Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman... So I showed her."
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, lawyer, women
A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention. The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?" The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."
Vote: has 65.29 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A beautiful woman enters a bar and sits next to a lawyer. "Listen honey," she says, "For $50, I’ll do absolutely anything you want." The lawyer looks around, pulls fifty dollars from his wallet and says, "Paint my house."
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, lawyer, money, women
Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
Vote: has 20.20 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, god, lawyer
Not all the warrants, can be called milky cows, says a lawyer to a colleague of his, some of them are like the mice in the church. Got for as lawyers that we know how to milk the mice...
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.? A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer