An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker.
The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: "Hoshimota! Hoshimota!"
He can't quite remember what the word means, but he's sure he's pleased the hooker to best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner when he makes a hole-in-one.
Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and he can't think anything to say but "HOSHIMOTA!"
Concerned, his partner turns to him
"What do you mean it's in the wrong hole?"
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Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?"
Will: "I don't know."
Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer.
Me: "Okay, this isn't working out."
In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
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Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?
In case they get a hole in one!
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift.
Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in.
Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there.
So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.
So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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