What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
Why is Cinderella such a bad football player? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate? The ice.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a worthless idiot' is it?'' Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your parents."
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.