What did the trampolinist say?
‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’
Tennis
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Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team.
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it.
Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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A Scottish man was at a baseball game.
It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly.
The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double.
Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!”
This happened two more times, with a single and a triple.
The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game.
The next batter came up and four balls went by.
The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first.
The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!”
Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down.
The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, “He can’t run because he got four balls.”
The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!”
Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer
SMACK!
Anna:OW!
Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna?
Anna: Andy punched me!
Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy?
Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen.
One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.
"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"
"I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied.
"You haven’t touched me in months.
We’re going to talk about sex right now!"
"OK, OK.
So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"