The man says, "Will you buy booze?" The bum says, "No." The man says, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum says, "No." So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after 3 periods.
Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.