Joke #2712

The man says, "Will you buy booze?" The bum says, "No." The man says, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum says, "No." So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.

Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.

Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner? A: A 100 mph nigger eater.

Two NBA basketball referees were walking through the countryside and they noticed some tracks. The first said, "Deer tracks?" "No," replied the second, "Bear tracks." The conversation ended abruptly when the train hit them.

My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.

Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so." Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."

A true story, according to the LA Times..... Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?" Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"

Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.

The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.