Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report." Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Q. What's the king of the pencil case? A. The ruler.
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Why did the teacher jump into the lake? Because she wanted to test the waters!