Joke #1665

Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report." Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
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Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Vote: has 40.67 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
Vote: has 65.39 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Vote: has 63.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
Vote: has 68.15 % from 117 votes. Send joke:

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There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Vote: has 59.89 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
Vote: has 85.60 % from 499 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: "I killed a person, tell me this sentence in future tense." Student: "In future tense, You will go to jail."
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After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, "You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?"  Little Johnny offers, "Miss, it's so we wouldn't wake all those people sleeping."
Vote: has 69.89 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Vote: has 83.96 % from 1057 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher