Joke #1665

Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report." Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: school

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A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!” The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?” The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, “Well, I guess the one sucking her cone.” To which the little boy replies, “Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!”
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has 76.16 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: bird, marriage, school, teacher, work
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
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has 76.04 % from 1138 votes. More jokes about: school
The teacher said to the children: "In a paddock, there were twelve sheep. Six of them got out by jumping over the fence. How many sheep left behind?" "None", little Jim say. "None?" says the teacher surprised. "Jim, you’re clueless in math." "And you, misses, are clueless in sheep! As soon as the first sheep jumps out, the other will follow as well!"
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: school
There was an employment advertisement in an office. So a guy went there. Managrer asked him: "Do you know what is the meaning of Ph.D.?" The guy answered: "Passed High school with Difficulties."
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has 76.00 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: management, office, school, student, work
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, school
The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother: “What did you learn today?” Kid: “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
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has 76.78 % from 488 votes. More jokes about: school
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
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has 68.12 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: school
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything." After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. "Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."
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has 37.83 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: school, science, student, teacher
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, school