Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
Because black people have no rights...
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Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden?
Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
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Two cannibals were having lunch.
"Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other.
"Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
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Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
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The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body.
I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
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Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
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This old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.
They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat it read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ...please advise."
So the old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap..."
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