Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
Because black people have no rights...
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What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies?
A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He has to eat his way out.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He goes back for more.
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A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump.
The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10.
Your parachute will automatically open.
If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord.
When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base.
Move out!"
As scared as they are, they all make it out the door.
The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing.
He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle.
He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand.
Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew: "I don't know. What?"
Michael: "Candy corneas."
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Joke has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
Q: How do you get 15,000 followers?
A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
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At the doctors office:
Doc: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live…"
Man: "Doctor what on earth are you saying?”, clearly chocked, “Tell me what can I do to live at least a little linger, please…"
Doc: "Do you eat fried food?"
Man: "Yes"
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ill do it"
Doc: "Do you eat fat food?"
Man: "Yes"
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ok doc"
Doc: "Do you stay up late?"
Man: "Yes"
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ok"
Doc: "Do you have sex often?"
Man: "Yes!
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it’s so that I live more… I’ll do that too"
Doc: "Do you smoke?"
Man: "Yes"
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it’s so that I live more… I will"
Doc: "Do you drink?"
Man: "Yes..."
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "OK doctor, but you didn’t tell me, if I do all the things you told me, how longer will I live?"
Doc: "You will still live for a week… but it will seem like a century…"
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A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off.
A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby.
The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me."
"Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man.
"No way, you're disgusting, go away."
The homeless man turns and starts walking away.
The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?"
The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
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Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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