Joke #2729

Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? Because black people have no rights...
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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
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A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
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"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.
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