Joke #2729

Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? Because black people have no rights...

The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.

A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

Q: What did the cannibal do once he dumped his lady friend? A: He wiped his bottom.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared." Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.

First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?" Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."

W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.

Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.