Joke #2729

Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? Because black people have no rights...

Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.

An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."

Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.

While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."

One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile. In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"

Q: What do black people smoke? A: Niggerettes.

Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"

What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.

Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..

Late in the night he regained consciousness. He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident. She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down." Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?" That, my friends, is a positive attitude!