Teacher: “Johnny, what is the outside of a tree called?”
Johnny: “I don’t know.”
Teacher: “Bark, Johnny, bark.”
Johnny: “Bow, wow, wow!”
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Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam.
The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells."
Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
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Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?"
"No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything."
After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.
After hesitating, they all did it.
"Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me not to use tables.