Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face?
A: Stop laughing and reload.
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It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
Q: How is spinach like anal sex?
A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
This could be considered the ideal world for many men:
His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties.
His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy.
A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
Are you lost, ma'am?
Because Heaven's a long way from here.
My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.