Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face? A: Stop laughing and reload.
A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people." First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.