Joke #2793

Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
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has 26.83 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
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has 76.83 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, death, old people
These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him, "What the hell is wrong with you?" The guy replies, "I gotta shit real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!" His buddy tells him "Hang your ass out the window, and let it fly." The guy hangs his ass out the window and the shi t flies back and hits the convertible. The guys in the convertible say "Damn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!" The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his ass". After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down. His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up." His friend says "No!" The other guy says "Why". His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a bitch!"
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, driving, friendship, travel, vulgar
*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"
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has 79.16 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, kids, wife
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, fish, game
I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
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has 20.01 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: black humor
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
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has 40.07 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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has 49.00 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
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has 52.46 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, kids, mexican, travel