Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid. 
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Similar jokes
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What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired.
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After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
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Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
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A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral.
A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said.
"It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car?
A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.
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Cannibals capture three men.
The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes.
Then they are each given a final request.
The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.
His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family.
This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes.
Now it is the third man's turn.
He asks for a fork.
The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork.
As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
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