Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid. 
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My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?"
He said, "A bus passed over his finger!"
I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause."
My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
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Joke has 79.94 % from 345 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, friendship, travel
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
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In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable?
A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.
"I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one.
"That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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Joke has 71.35 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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