What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic. Alex was crying very loudly. Johnny: Why are you crying? Alex: I came here for a blood test. Johnny: So? Are you afraid? Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now? Johnny: I came for a urine test!
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
Daddy to his son: I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
What rule could stop HIV in Africa? Sex after dinner only.